Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
