no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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