remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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