He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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