mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
