I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
