Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
