what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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