Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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