Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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