You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
