So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
