I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
