so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Someone came in the potted fern
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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