Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize