She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
