In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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