i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
