I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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