Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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