Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
