I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
