Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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