I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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