I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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