i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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