i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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