Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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