Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
