I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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