i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
