Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
