My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
