apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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