i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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