I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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