as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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