It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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