awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize