Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize