I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the day after is always just damage control
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
