If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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