I'm lost and stupid without you.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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