? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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