Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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