its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
