Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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