i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
