let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Randomize
