He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
