You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
