hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
