You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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