Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
