k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
and you fell through a lawn chair
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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