Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
