Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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