Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Pooping to opera.
Randomize