Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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